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Chretien To Resign Within 74 Years
Wednesday, August 21, 2002 - Saguenay, Quebec
In a move that shocked everyone at the Liberal caucus meeting this week, the Prime Minister delivered a press release outlining his plans for retirement.
"After 37 year as Prime Minister," Mr. Chretien was quoted as saying, "I felt it was the times to considers my futures and to do what is the best for the Canada."
"So I have announce to the Liberal caucus today that I will be leaving the positions of Prime Minister within 74 year."
Opposition within the party was quickly thwarted by the announcement.
Lead rival Paul Martin was quoted as saying, "Now that we have an idea of when he is leaving, there is no point continuing to battle for leadership since we know his reign will come to an end."
Paul Martin is rumoured to be heading for Timmins, Ontario where his body will be cryogenically frozen in an abandoned mineshaft until 2076, after which he will thaw to battle for leadership of the Liberal party.
Leadership rival Alan Rock was thought to have indicated he was pleased with the announcement by "sharing some doobies" with his supporters in Whistler, British Columbia.
Sheila Copps reportedly praised the Prime Minister for his record, lit a candle at her Jean Chretien shrine, sacrificed a small animal, then indicated her interest in joining the 2076 leadership battle.
