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Satan Cancels Contract with J. K. Rowling
Saturday, June 21, 2003 - Lower Depths, Hell
It seems Satan has had a tough run of celebrities lately, with the firing yesterday of J. K. Rowling, author of the famed Harry Potter books.
This follows on recent contract cancellations with shock-rocker Marilyn Manson and purse-toting Teletubby, Tinky Winky.
A spokesdemon for Satan told BCB that the dark lord was getting fed up with the egos of his celebrity minions.
"They come along and are so anxious to make a deal with the devil," said the spokesdemon, "then they all start thinking they're something special and start doing things without the consent of his dark highness. It's simply deplorable."
Although Rowling's soul is still scheduled to be consumed by the fanged mites of demons in the darkest bowels of the lake of fire, this status was unconfirmed, and she is now free to do whatever she likes without further assistance from Satan.
